...you can never outsmart the squirrels.
Below, witness the video of a squirrel running a man-made obstacle course set up to demonstrate the remarkable logic capabilities of these tree acrobats.
It's the final clip from a British presentation of "Daylight Robbery".
Saturday, September 15, 2007
No matter what you do...
Chicagoese
You know how people in New York talk. (New Yawk, cwoffee, etc.)
The people in Boston are different: "Here's a dawlah fer a bawtle o' tawnic."
If you've watched "The Sopranos" you know that they speak English with a New Jersey dialect all its own.
Chicagoese is very similar. However, there are "geographicals" which are part of the local dialect. It's similar to New Jerseyese, but a little different. One noticeable difference is the use of what I call a "very short a". You'll know it when you hear a true Chicagoan speak.
I was raised in Chicago and at one time talked just like de udder people did. Since moving to suddern Illinois, my Chicago accent has diminished but its hooks are still deeply embedded.
I've compiled a list of "colloquialisms" for your edification in order that you may more fully understand the ins and outs of phonetic spellings of the Chicagoese I use on this site.
CHICAGOESE
Sound exchange: "Sausage" and "Chicago" switch syllable sounds. They become Sah-sidge or Sah-sitch and Chicawgo. You always know a true Chicagoan by the way he or she pronounces the name of the city.
Grachki: Chicagoese for "garage key" as in, "Yo, Teresa, waja do wit da grachki? Howmy s'posta cut da grass if I can't git inta da grach?"
Sammich: Chicagoese for sandwich. When made with sausage, it's a sah-sidge or sah-sitch sammich; when made with shredded beef, it's an Italian Beef sammich, a local delicacy consisting of piles of spicy meat in a perilously soggy bun.
Nort and Sout: These are compass directions, as in “Nort State Street” or “Sout side”. East and West remain the same.
Da: This article is a key part of Chicago speech, as in "Da Bears" or "Da Mare" -- the latter denoting Richard M. Daley, or Richie, as he's often called, the mayor of Chicago.
Doon: This is a large part of any greeting, as in “Howya doon?” or “Wutchya doon?” Similar to Jersey.
Jools: The name of one of the region's dominant grocery store chains, Jewel Foods. "I'm goin' ta Jools to pick up some sah-sidge."
Field's: Marshall Field, a prominent Chicago department store. Also Carson Pirie Scott, another major department store chain, is simply called "Carson's."
Tree: The number between two and four. "We were lucky dat we only got tree inches of snow da udder night."
Over by dair: Translates to "over by there," a way of emphasizing a location presumed familiar to the listener. As in, "I got the sah-sidge at Jools down on Kedzie, over by dair."
Kaminski Park: The name of the ballpark where the Chicago White Sox (da Sox) used to play baseball. Comiskey Park was recently renamed U.S. Cellular Field (da Cell).
Frunchroom: As in, "Get outta da frunchroom wit dose muddy shoes."
It's not the "parlor."
It's not the "living room."
In the land of the bungalow, it's the "frunchroom," a named derived from "front room." Also note others, as in "bedge-room" and "batchroom".
Yooz: the plural pronoun 'you!' "Where yooz goin'?" Similarly, Yuz, as in “Wutch yuz doon? Contracted to "watchuz doon?"
Downtown: Anywhere near The Lake, south of The Zoo (Lincoln Park Zoo) and north of Soldier Field.
The Lake: Lake Michigan. It's often used by local weathermen, "cooler near The Lake."
Braht: Short for Bratwurst. "Gimme a braht wit kraut." The very short "a".
Goes: Past or present tense of the verb "say."
For example, "Den he goes, 'I like dis place'!"
Guys: Used when addressing two or more people, regardless of each individual's gender.
Pop: A soft drink. Don't say "soda" in this town.
"Ya wanna canna pop?"
Sliders: Nickname for hamburgers from White Castle, a popular Midwestern burger chain.
"Doze sliders I had last night gave me da runs." Also known as "belly bombers".
The Taste: The Taste of Chicago Festival, a huge extravaganza in Grant Park featuring samples of Chicagoland cuisine which takes place each year around the Fourth of July holiday.
"Jeetchet?": Translates to, "Did you eat yet?" Sometimes answered with, “No. Joo?”
Reply: "Naw. skweet."
Translation: "No, let's go eat."
Winter and Construction: Punch line to the joke, "What are the two seasons in Chicago?"
Cuppa Too-Tree: is Chicagoese for "a couple, two, three" which really means "a few." For example, "Hey Mike, dair any beerz left in da cooler over by dair?"
"Yeh, a cuppa too-tree."
588-2300: Everyone in Chicago knows this commercial jingle and the carpet company you'll get if you call that number -- Empire! Before they went all 1-800 on us.
Junk Dror: You will usually find the 'junk drawer' in the kitchen filled to the brim with miscellaneous, but very important, junk.
Suddern Illinois: Anything south of I-80.
Expressways: The Interstates in the immediate Chicagoland area are usually known just by their 'name' and not their Interstate number: the Dan Ryan ("da Ryan"), the Stevenson, the Kennedy, the Eisenhower (da "Ike"), and the Edens (just "Edens" but Da Edens" is acceptable).
Gym Shoes: The rest of the country may refer to them as sneakers or running shoes but Chicagoans will always call them gym shoes!
New babes!
We have a new Butt of the Week. Look, dammit.
We have a new Nat or Not. Vote, dammit.
We have a new e-mail address. Write, dammit.
Who the hell is this "we" we're talking about?
Microsoft does it again!
M$ is logging in and changing Windows users' files while they sleep. It's touted as being an "automatic update" but no one knows what else they're doing in there while they're in there.
M$ says that the update is a new version of their Windows Updater software.
The tech community is in an uproar. For M$, it's business as usual.
Read a bit here.
HUGE Fanmail
I'd like to share this e-mail message I received not too long ago. It's from a reader named Ash. She's a nice young lady whom I know personally. She's a regular visitor here at SixPackTech and she, like, knows her stuff when it comes to computers.
Here it is:
So I figured you would love this and I wanted to tell you before I forgot.
My memory isn't all that great at times.
So yesterday at work, I was on drive thru and this gentleman comes through. And he's really nice, got his spiffy suit on and we're joking, and I look in his passenger seat.
And it’s this HUGE Mac box, and I keep looking at it and he says ya like!?!
We started talking about it, and how much he loves Mac and of course I talked
about you and your liking to Mac and he said this, "Only an uneducated
person would by anything different. He must be a very smart man."
And he just kept going. I wanted to get his name and number and tell him that he's
got a new best friend.
It was just cool and reminded me of you! And I thought it was maybe a quote you could use or something.
Thanks, Ash. The gentleman is absolutely correct. The Mac is the best choice for a personal computer and the best bang for the buck.
Why you'll love a Mac.
Weird web
Collectors are an odd group of people. We all know one. Perhaps we are one (we are one?) Yes we are or we do.
I was looking for a better life earlier today on the Web when I found some websites of people who have apparently found one. A life that is.
Or have they?
The collectors:
Pencils
Flashlights
Mouse and rat traps
Moist towelettes
Sand
Back-scratchers
Hose nozzles
Band-Aids
The next time you look out in your back yard and see all those old tires, consider yourself a Collector and advertise them on the Web.
Maybe you'll make some money.
Maybe not.
Minor change
I've changed the site's e-mail address to send mail to.
It's posted at the left. Over by dair.
A little lower as before. But not too low as we all know.
A little easier to remember to not forget.
Same site. Same author. Same shit. Different day.
Enjoy.
Or just deal with it.
Extreme tailgating
Sports fans are parking lot party monsters. A company Called Gameday Customs has created the ultimate tailgating experience.
Why go to the game and suffer the humiliation of a pat-down at the gate, confiscation of your brew, lousy weather, terribly bad and over-priced food and long lines at the john?
Now you can buy this tailgating technology and be the envy of the crowd. Watch the game, cook your own food and drink your own beer while experiencing bad weather, parking fees, drunk rabid fans, and long lines at the john.
Or stay home and watch the game on your 52-incher, 19 paces from the kitchen and 10 paces from the john. For free. Inside. Under a roof.
Thank you very much. Have a nice day.
Anagram generator
I'm not going to explain what an anagram is. And don't tell me your grandfather has to go the hospital to have one done on his heart or some other internal organ.
Jumble up SixPackTech and you will come up with Pickax Chest. Jumble up Budweiser to get Bud iSewer. Which is where it belongs.
For your time waste-age, here's a link to an anagram generator. Type in a word or something, get an anagram.
Don't get lost. You come right back here.
Paulaner Wheat Beer
Tonight's special brew is another wheat beer that cost me a two-twenny-nine at the beer store. Paulaner Hefe-Weizen.
This is a real nice brew. Slightly sweet, slightly bitter and a real beer. It pours up a big head of foam and nests in the mug with a golden color. Fizzing up are tiny micro-bubbles. Amazing. The brew is slightly cloudy but has a great flavor. It leaves that little dangle of taste in the back of your mouth to remind you of what you're drinking.
I'm tempted to buy a sixer of Paulaner and a sixer of Hacker-Pschorr and have a Saturday night taste-off.
Paulaner is good stuff! You gotta treat yourself to this soon.
