The most sweartastic movies

Find a stick. Better yet, find about ten sticks. Then start shaking them one at a time at each instance. When one breaks, get another. Shake the stick.

Why?

Here's a list of movies which have more f-bombs, curse words and foul language than you could shake ten stcks at.

Every man should carry a pocket knife

I've been carrying a pocket knife since I was a Boy Scout when me and Robert Baden-Powell hung around together. It has been an indispensable part of my "wardrobe" and a very handy tool at any given time. The one I have I bought at Sears in 1974 and I still have. Sharpened it 116,596 times. Every Christmas, I have to pull it out and pass it around for everyone to zip open their gifts. It is now fondly referred to as the "Christmas knife." The style I have is called a "toothpick." It's similar to the one shown above except for the curved part of the liner.

If yer a man, you will have a pocket knife; no ifs, ands or buts about it. Why? You must read this very interesting article on why every man should carry a pocket knife.

(ArtofManliness)

Charlton Heston has passed

The man who played Moses is gone. Alas.

Planet of the Apes, Omega Man, Ben Hur and many other films had him in a major role.

Known for his leadership of the National Rifle Association for some time and a bad toupee, ol' Charlie became the brunt of some jokes. He had a nice long stint of being the manliest man in film.

His most memorable role was that of Moses in The Ten Commandments. Shown below is a seldom seen trailer for the movie.

Ride the Lightning

As some of you know - perhaps independently, perhaps because you astutely deduced from my handle, I make my living as a cop. Hard to hide that when referring to myself as fleetflatfoot. Anyway, I went through some interesting training today as a way to keep myself, my colleagues and my city safe. My department has entered the new age and purchased TASERs for us to carry and deploy as needed.

I'm sure most of you are familiar with what a TASER does, and you may have seen the infamous "Don't Tase me, Bro" video. You may also disagree with its function, as media outlets often skew the facts on an incident where it is used and fail to tell the whole story. Whether you are pro or anti-TASER, allow me to educate:

TASER is an acronym for Tom Swift' And his Electric Rifle. Tom Swift is a fictional book character, and the inventor of the TASER, Jack Cover, was a fan, giving the character a nod by naming the device after him. A TASER is classified as an Electronic Control Device (ECD), but TASER is the most recognizable name in the business, therefore becoming a household name. TASER is the name of the company, with each device getting its own product name, such as the X26.

The TASER has evolved throughout the years and the current model works like this: Two metal barbed probe projectiles are fired from a cartridge which attaches to the "stun gun" portion. The gun delivers an electric current through steel wires which connect to the probes. The probes penetrate a subject's (bad guy's) skin and shock the bejesus out of him in an effort to gain compliance.

The difference between a traditional stun gun and a TASER, is that a well-placed TASER shot will place the probes somewhat far apart on a bad guy's body. It allows for a larger area to be affected, completing a circuit which allows electricity to coarse through the body. The bad guy loses control, goes rigid throughout all his muscles, and is physically unable to resist the shock. A stun gun is used more for pain compliance, which a very strong person, or someone extremely high on drugs may be able to fight through. Not only is the TASER painful, but it disrupts the muscles' ability to obey the brain's signals to move independently.

Believe what you will about TASERs, but I urge you to check out their website if you have doubts. Despite many claims that a TASER contributed to a subject's death, TASER has never been found liable for anyone's death, and they have tons of research and numbers to back their product. You'll find everything you want to know directly from them.

Now on to the fun stuff: the real reason for this article. At the conclusion of class today, after learning about situations in which to deploy the TASER, its effects, and how to properly operate it, we all performed practical tests and became certified to carry TASERs as a less-lethal force option. But, just so we could add validity to our knowledge of the TASERs effects, to give us more credibility when testifying in court, we were given the opportunity to be hit with it for a full 5 second cycle.

That's right. The choice to be TASEd was before me. How could I deny it? I felt the overwhelming urge to display my manhood amongst my peers and take the ride. Check me out, below. Go full screen if you can.



So, how does it feel? One classmate described the sensation as "like licking a 9 volt battery, but all over your body." I agree. But it's so much worse. It is so hard to describe, but I can give you tidbits of what I felt:

I wanted it to be over the instant I got hit.
When the instructor told my spotters to lay me down, I didn't want to be moved. After looking at the video, I realize that they laid me down almost immediately. It felt like 5 seconds before they were even told to move!
I could almost see electricity arcing between my eyes.
I don't remember if I was breathing, but I remember the groaning.
The only thoughts in my head were: "Wow, this blows," and "Oh, man, when will 5 seconds be over?" It felt like WAY longer than 5 seconds.
I heard the pop from the device shooting the probes at me, but I never felt them impact my body and didn't feel them being plucked from my skin. I was hit dead-center between my shoulder blades with one and waist level on my left side with the other. That probe actually penetrated my leather belt and still stuck in my skin and delivered the current. The second video shows my reaction when my spotter tells me I may have to take a second hit because of my belt. Yeah, real funny.
I actually feared the barbed probes worse than the shock initially. The actual probes used to shock me are pictured above. What a souvenir!

When the current stopped flowing, the pain and rigidity went away completely. Nothing hurt except my calves, which I flexed so hard they cramped a bit. They are still sore now, 3 hours later. For the next 30 minutes, I felt like I was coming down from a huge adrenaline rush, feeling exhausted but still excited from what I had just experienced.

So I survived, but I have no lousy T-Shirt to prove it. My heart didn't stop, my breathing wasn't affected, and I couldn't do a damn thing. I look forward to having this tool available to keep myself alive at work. I wish some of the doubters could take the 5 second experience to know just how effective the TASER is. TASER even offers a free X26 (over $800 value) to any officer who withstands 30 seconds of the beast.

Not me, brother. I'd rather die than wish for death for 30 seconds.

Basic shop tools - a handy guide

Basic Shop Tools and Their General Purpose

DRILL PRESS: A tall upright machine useful for suddenly snatching flat metal bar stock out of your hands so that it smacks you in the chest and flings your beer across the room, denting the freshly-painted vertical stabilizer which you had carefully set in the corner where nothing could get to it.

WIRE WHEEL: Cleans paint off bolts and then throws them somewhere under the workbench with the speed of light . Also removes fingerprints and hard-earned calluses from fingers in about the time it takes you to say, "Oh shit!"

ELECTRIC HAND DRILL: Normally used for spinning pop rivets in their holes until you die of old age.

SKILL SAW: A portable cutting tool used to make studs too short.

PLIERS: Used to round off bolt heads. Sometimes used in the creation of blood-blisters.

BELT SANDER: An electric sanding tool commonly used to convert minor touch-up jobs into major refinishing jobs.

HACKSAW: One of a family of cutting tools built on the Ouija board principle. It transforms human energy into a crooked, unpredictable motion, and the more you attempt to influence its course, the more dismal your future becomes.

VISE-GRIPS: Generally used after pliers to completely round off bolt heads. If nothing else is available, they can also be used to transfer intense welding heat to the palm of your hand.

WELDING GLOVES: Heavy duty leather gloves used to prolong the conduction of intense welding heat to the palm of your hand.

OXYACETYLENE TORCH: Used almost entirely for lighting various flammable objects in your shop on fire. Also handy for igniting the grease inside the wheel hub you want the bearing race out of.

TABLE SAW: A large stationary power tool commonly used to launch wood projectiles for testing wall integrity.

HYDRAULIC FLOOR JACK: Used for lowering an automobile to the ground after you have installed your new brake shoes, trapping the jack handle firmly under the bumper.

EIGHT-FOOT LONG YELLOW PINE 2X4: Used for levering an automobile upward off of a trapped hydraulic jack handle.

E-Z OUT BOLT AND STUD EXTRACTOR: A tool ten times harder than any known drill bit that snaps neatly off in bolt holes thereby ending any possible future use.

BAND SAW: A large stationary power saw primarily used by most shops to cut good aluminum sheet into smaller pieces that more easily fit into the trash can after you cut on the inside of the line instead of the outside edge.

TWO-TON ENGINE HOIST: A tool for testing the maximum tensile strength of everything you forgot to disconnect.

CRAFTSMAN 1/2 x 24-INCH SCREWDRIVER: A very large pry bar that inexplicably has an accurately machined screwdriver tip on the end opposite the handle.

AVIATION METAL SNIPS: See hacksaw.

PHILLIPS SCREWDRIVER: Normally used to stab the vacuum seals under lids and for opening old-style paper-and-tin oil cans and splashing oil on your shirt; but can also be used, as the name implies, to strip out Phillips screw heads.

STRAIGHT SCREWDRIVER: A tool for opening paint cans. Sometimes used to convert common slotted screws into non-removable screws.

PRY BAR: A tool used to crumple the metal surrounding that clip or bracket you needed to remove in order to replace a 50 cent part.

HOSE CUTTER: A tool used to make hoses too short.

HAMMER: Originally employed as a weapon of war, the hammer nowadays is used as a kind of divining rod to locate the most expensive parts adjacent the object we are trying to hit.

MECHANIC'S KNIFE: Used to open and slice through the contents of cardboard cartons delivered to your front door; works particularly well on contents such as seats, vinyl records, liquids in plastic bottles, collector magazines, refund checks, and rubber or plastic parts. Especially useful for slicing work clothes, but only while in use.

DAMMIT TOOL: Any handy tool that you grab and throw across the garage while yelling "DAMMIT" at the top of your lungs. It is also, most often, the next tool that you will need.

(Source)

Movies - see these before you die

This is the embodiment of all things which define a "guy." Far from chick flicks, these are the movies with the baddest cars, action, explosions, chases, mayhem and sometimes stupidity which define the American male.

Check out the list here, then save it for future reference. Chances are, you've already seen half of them.

Jackie Chan IS the MAN!

Jackie Chan does all his own stunts. What is this guy, goofy? No. He's a legend in the making.

Chan's like a meld of Evel Knievel and Bruce Lee with a comic overtone.

Ya gotta hand it to the guy for keeping us entertained when his broken bones have healed.

Here's a nice feature video featuring his top 10 stunts.

5 manly sports that will kick your ass

And Rugby ain't one of 'em.

These are sports that, up until now, I've never heard of and I doubt you have as well.

These sports are from regions of the world familiar to us all, but the whole concept of the sport is beyond reasoning.

Read about these 5 kick-ass sports here.

(MissCellania)

Cheesecake pinups

Do you remember visiting your Grandpa's garage and seeing the sexy calendar or pinup pictures he had nailed or stapled to the pegboard? Yeah, me too. These renderings hold their own niche in a genre created just for them.

There is one artist in particular who always drew a pretty female in the awkward situation of having her knickers fall around her ankles. And she always had a bag of groceries with a celery bunch jutting out.

Check out some great pinups here, or read about the history and view more (possibly NSFW) pics here.

(Presurfer)

Coach Bigg

This guy's HUGE! These pictures surely aren't Photoshopped, right?

Is it that he's so big, or is that she's just so small? I don't think it's she.

I also think fitness has something to do with it. And genetics. Yeah, designer genes.








(Funtasticus)

Brett Favre through the years

Love 'em or hate 'em, the Green Bay Packers have etched out their own niche in the annals of football. Of recent years, Brett Favre stands out as one of the best of the best.

Destined to be inducted into the Hall of Fame, Favre has finally announced he will hang up his helmet and retire. The rivalry of the Bears vs. Packers will continue.

But when you sit back and think about it, you must have some respect for a quarterback who has broken the fingers of his own receivers through the sheer power behind his passes.

Sports Illustrated has a great pictorial of the wonderboy that is/was Brett Favre.

Manterns - manly candles

More goofy crap for you to buy? What's this? Candles? CANDLES??!!

Whoa, waitaminnit, Tiger. These are different. They're manly candles. Manterns. With manly smells to 'em.

Take your pick of a Mantern that gives off the aroma of a new baseball glove, or sawdust, or beer. Yeah, really.

Next time you hit the can to relieve yourself of that corned beef and cabbage fiesta you had, light up a 4th of July Mantern. Even the neighbors might notice.

Check out the Manterns right here.

(Presurfer)

Disc Golf - better 'n paintball

I. Hate. Golf. Clubs, holes, little tiny balls (ahem,) pastel-colored polo shirts, knee socks, riding pants and all the other snobbish crap that goes along with it. And the initial outlay of cash is enough to max out several credit cards.

Here's a great alternative to that "sport" which still maintains all the manliness involved in the factors of distance, accuracy and technique. Disc Golf. DO NOT call it "Frisbee golf."

A friend at work is involved deeply in disc golf and has educated me in some of the nuances that makes the game take on the camaraderie of bowling with a bit of basketball thrown in, wrapped up in a golf outing.

For a few bucks anyone can get started, and finding a course to play is as easy as checkin' the 'Net for a place nearby. Get yourself three discs, a driver, an approach disc and a putter, and start shootin'. Even for a guy my age, who's missing some marbles and part of an appendage, I may just unpark my computer butt, flip a few discs and go out and get the stink blown offa me.

Less physically involved than painball and a lot less snooty than white-balled golf, this is an excellent way to a bit of fitness, friendly competition and lung clearing, fresh-air jaunt out on the course. Leave the ball chasers to their ball washing pastimes and try some disc golf. You'll love it.

Oh, and don't take your dog with you. He may just disappear somewhere out on the course.

Check out this place for a great explanation of disc golf and what's involved. Then watch the video below for a greater sense of what disc golf is all about.

Army humor

Our guys in Iraq and Afganistan are obviously under a tremendous amount of stress. I, for one, support our troops 100% regardless of the origin of the Middle East conflict.

It is good to know, however, that the guys are maintaining their collective senses of humor. Here's a great collection of pictures sent in from over there that will make you smile.

(Funtasticus)

A cup of aggression?

If you're one of those caffeine freaks who's just gotta, gotta, GOTTA have your fix or else, here's just the right coffee vessel for you.

The Knuckle Duster coffee cup will make everyone at the office or the BP gas station look twice when you fill up this bad boy.

It's a "Don't mess wit me" mug.

Oh, yeah.

Check it out here.

(Gizmodo)

Tool kit belt buckle

It's got everything you need in case of emergency maintenance. All but a roll of duct tape and some baling wire.

The next time you're up on the antenna of the Sears tower and have to change a light bulb, just take off your belt if you forget that Phillips screwdriver.

Just don't let your pants fall. It may be hard climbing down if they do.

From Amazon - 20 bucks.

(BoingBoing)

If Apple designed a bed

This is so sweet! It's a cube, it's a bed, it's an entertainment center (of all sorts). Even the commercial reeks of the clean lines and simplicity that Apple is known for.

This is a new product called the Hi-Can canopy bed that does everything except clip your toenails.

You'll never want to go to work again.

Watch the vid below. Speak French? Check out the company's site here.

(BoingBoing)

Nine manliest names

What constitutes a manly name? Is the name Buck more manly than, say Matt? How about Francis? What first comes to mind when you hear name Francis. Sinatra? Scott Key? Bacon? Interesting, wouldn't you say?

We don't chose our names; our parents do the chosing for us. We may have coined ourselves a nickname but never a great name, let alone a manly name.

Here are some of the manliest names you may or may not have heard and the faces that go along with them. You may be quite surprised.

Miracle laundry additive

A short and sweet commercial for Coloreria Italiana, a dye or additive for the wash.

It's nicely made with a segue of the music as well as the whole sight gag thing.

Check it out below.

(Presurfer)

Indiana Jones trailer

Indy's coming back this May with another action packed adventure.

Treasure? Yes.
Nazis? Yes.
Explosions? Secrets? Traps?
Yes. Yes. And yes.

There is a twist, however. Harrison Ford is getting a little long in the tooth. Not to worry. The adventure is almost centered on that fact.

It's gonna be pretty good.

Check it out below.